For many years now, almost 21 in whole, I have busied myself with (amongst other things) the issue of wholeness. You see, Christians are taught that Jesus makes us whole, so, we study, meditate on, strive towards wholeness. We are told that our living relationships hinge on our degree of wholeness and the burden our degree of brokenness brings into the melting pot. We are told to embrace our brokenness in those early religious encounters and welcome the comfort and the healing to those painful scars, which is the expectation. We begin to develop almost an obsession with our own wholeness. I do not doubt that many actually experience comfort and healing, possibly through various avenues, but in my observation of the world as we see it today, human brokenness persists, even at the highest and most “mature" levels (see Hillsong for relatively recent examples).

It’s a human thing, isn’t it? How many of us, in the supermarket, give a packet of biscuits a feel for the broken ones and then reject the packet? Or pick up a chocolate at the counter to find it broken and replace it immediately? We want things whole. The search is on!

Driving home the other day, I caught the late Kenny Rogers on the radio singing the old Lionel Richie classic, “Lady”. This song took me back to my high school days, and we won’t go into how long ago that is. But the sublime Mr Richie (nearly 72 now) penned “you came into my life and made me whole” to his special lady; and this got me thinking.

We can’t really make each other whole, can we?

But, in acknowledging that someone makes us whole, there is an inherent acknowledgement of our brokenness. That’s where progression starts - at this foundational confession. In this confession is the cry, the expression of need, for help and healing.

After nearly twenty-one years I can safely say I am as broken now as I have ever been. Wholeness in myself is not really showing itself on the radar. I know some good people who make me feel whole. With them I’m at peace and can relax and drop all pretences. But in essence, I remain the same broken self that I walked in as. Christian theology teaches that as a disciple of Jesus our brokenness can only diminish with time as we conform to His image; but alas, it is my belief, that broken we are and broken we grow old and die.

Am I depressed with this realisation? Certainly not! It is in accepting my broken self, not obsessing with becoming whole, and welcoming the complementary quality of special people in our lives and religious practices that my human functionality can be manifest. I might shock some, but I even believe that atheism in itself, perhaps even nihilism, is a religious practice and might well have the same effect. There is a scripture that says: “My strength is made perfect in your weakness”. So, if God exists or not, our corporate or universal strength is always greater than the sum of the weak, broken parts. This, indeed, is how community works.

A modern philosopher, someone from whom I have learned much, Peter Rollins, relates a parable in his book “The Orthodox Heretic”. He tells of a small island state under siege from a great nation’s army. The mighty army is days away from attacking their capital, when, as is their custom, the leaders consult their religious oracle. The oracle declares to them that they stand no chance against this invading force as she has been told that God, Himself, has joined with their army. They despair and begin to debate whether to flee or surrender. Their trusted chief does not enter the debate, but when all have become still, he asks that they trust his judgement, which they reluctantly do. He musters a small army of fighting men, hugely outnumbered by the invading army, and leads them out to defend his island and the capital. A bloody battle ensues but at the end of it the great army lies defeated and they retreat and flee back to their home state. The entire island was dumbstruck, especially the oracle. She asked the chief how he knew to attack, and not flee? He answered simply, “It does not matter which side God is on in a battle, but when God is involved, the weak and the oppressed always win”. This might come as a surprise to some, that God could lose. There are other occasions that we are told of God “losing” - for example, Jacob, a deeply broken man, wrestled with God and overcame.

So don’t let this rock your theology, stop obsessing with “wholeness”, keep working on yourself one small step at a time, you’ll be fine!

It seems to me that there is a divine, universal partiality to broken souls...

18 February 2021